Fanny By Gaslight.. Anna (Span) Arrowsmith, Lib Dem.Too Sleasy for a porn director?

Gordon Brown has been masturbating furiously in a irritated  manner for 7 minutes now, he has a semi, and is starting to redden and chafe.

David Cameron however has had  3  ejaculateions in as may minutes, undeterred by the shortness of interval he continues his 'Posh wank’ into a condom but remains steadfast in his self Pleasuring.

 Anna Arrowsmith MP continues to is outlining her commitment to the people of Gravesham area regarding her policy’s on crime and tax cuts.The masturbation continues unabated.
It has been a difficult Maiden speech.

David Cameron.. Tax-e-for Lord Ashcroft.

 

Lord Ashcroft took Dave Cameron for a pint today to say sorry for getting caught doing the double on the dole and working for cash in hand while staying at David Cameron’s Bed-sit. 

However, Lord Ashcroft had enough of George Osborn coming round and pissing in the sink.

All this will not affect Dave attempting to tap Lord Ashcroft up for a fiver till giro day.

Does Amy have to give her flowers back?

Dear Karen,

I am writing to you concerning the Amy Wootton Breastfeeding incident and have a couple of questions.

I believe you are the person who dealt with the situation according to your colleges over the phone on Monday.

I have met Amy Wotton twice, the week before the alleged incident, and the Friday afterwards as the worldwide media were broadcasting her story.

We - myself and a group of mothers who know each other through a mother’s internet forum - are pretty confused and distressed by the situation, and are amazed that what appeared to be normal articulate young women could be driven to fabricate a story such as this. She obviously has problems, no argument about that one.

But how did this extremely vulnerable individual become the centre of a global media storm?.

The evidence shows that she lied, and that is not acceptable. However this does pose a number of questions and issues around what has happened

My questions:

1. Is it company policy to issues flowers and an apology to every complaint? Is it common to issue an apology before a inquiry?

2. Did the Evening Post contact you before or after Amy made the complaint?

3. Was the apology/flowers issued before or after the evening post contacted you?

4. Amy recounted several incidents that she did not officially complain about while using first bus. The gist of it was a feeling of general intimidation on the 54 from other passengers in regards to her breastfeeding and unpleasantness form first staff over a number of months to a year when she had mobility problems during pregnancy and her work as a careworker attempting to get clients on board with wheelchairs. It would seem that there was a build up of anger and resentment over along period of time.

5. In the drivers statement he says ‘He was aware of Amy breastfeeding’ and he was ’Laughing and joking with the passengers’ during journey. Is he is a known and regular driver on that journey?.

6. How would you describe first buses’ relationship with the Evening post:

Good, fair, ok, poor, or severed horses head at the bottom of a bed?

7.Will First Bus in Bristol perhaps look to addressing some of its deep systemic problems with a forum for bus users to work with First to put things right..

For example: Looking at a clearer complaint system i.e. A telephone number for complaints clearly displayed at stops and inside buses. The name of the driver clearly displayed as well.

Perhaps a system where customers are invited to rate the driver’s performance.

Addressing the quality of bus service in regard to postcode (poorer areas have a worse quality of service, old pram unfriendly buses etc). And join in the lobby to sort out the city’s crippled traffic system that makes bus driver’s job extremely difficult.

8.As a good will gesture, be one of the first companies in Bristol to display signs in there buses to the effect that it is illegal to stop a woman breast fed, in conjunction with one of the breastfeeding organisations when a clarification of the law happens.

I am a freelance political cartoonist and artist and currently I’m on maternity leave. I’m afraid it may sound flippant but the cartoonist in me wants to ask:

9. Does Amy have to give her flowers back?

I must state that I will be publishing the contents of this email. I will also be publishing the contents of any replay I receive from you. If I do not receive a reply, Ill put you down as a ‘No comment’.

Talking about the appalling bus service in Bristol is like talking about the weather for most people who live hear.

It must be an interesting job being the public Relations for First bus.

Thank you for your time.

LMckeever

The Reply:

Dear Lou

Thank you for your email. Regarding Amy Wootten, this is a private matter between her and us and to that end we are not prepared to enter into correspondence about it with any other individuals.
In relation to our general customer service provision, should you wish to join our customer panel - to help influence policy in this area - you will find details of how to do so here: http://www.firstgroup.com/ukbus/southwest/bristol/customer_care/customer.php. Alternatively if you have suggestions regarding how we might improve customer relations then please feel free to write to us via our customer service team, details of whom you'll find here: http://www.firstgroup.com/ukbus/southwest/bristol/contact/bristol.php

With kind regards

Karen

Amy Wooton, First bus and Bristols at dawn.

 

Today First bus are saying that Amy has made it up, and that theres nothing on the bus CCTV to suggest it has happened. I reserve judgment until I have talked to Amy her self, I'm finding hard to believe she has made this up and feel she may of made a mistake about the day it happened(New parent sleep deprivation).Amy if your reading this, get in touch. If they are making it up, you need to stand up for your self.

Amy Wooton sits across from me looking longingly at her hot chocolate, loaded with melting marshmallows, it is slowly cooling in front of her on the cafe table. She is unable to drink it as she is discreetly nursing her Six week old baby.

Babies at this age have stomachs the size of walnuts, because of the magic that is breast milk, it is almost completely absorbed and they are ready for another feed, at this age a hour or two later.

The almost permanent fixture of infant to breast at this stage is enough to have you running howling for the nearest tin of formula, the broken sleep, discomfort and the just plain inconvenience of it.

Every now and again her mobile phone rings, she eyes it with amazement and waits until it rings off and listens to the voice-mail. In a soft Bristolian accent she tells us it is radio five live looking to interview her, and she's just been mentioned on 'This morning'. She is in all the national papers.

The last time we all met up, (a fortnightly event, where we all know each other through a mothers Internet forum) we were swapping stories of the horror that is the local bus service 'First bus'. A bit of an old chestnut, conversation wise. This week, Amy got a bit of a good one. She has been chucked of the bus for breastfeeding and accused of indecent exposure. She was threatened with the police if she didn't get off and dumped at the side of the road in the rain with her pram.

We in bristol have come to expect racism, discrimination and the exorbitant fares as the a norm of trying to get from A to B without a car. It is the first 'First bus 'experience.

Top of the list with 'First bus' is the racism.

Its how any one with a non-English accent is made to stand and 'pronounce' their destination before being let on. Something that I had to regular endure when I first moved to england and my Irish accent seem to be as misunderstood as a remote Chinese dialect.

It is a regular sight now, the Somalian in the hijab preforming the 'little Briton' weight watchers sketch. Its where even at the back of the bus you can clearly hear 'Return to the Center' being pronounced, over and over again until it reaches the right English inflection before boarding is allowed.

Then there's the aggression..

I once was on a bus going through the town center where the driver slowed the bus at the regular peace protest in-front of the hippodrome, he opened the doors of the bus and roared “Bomb the Bastards!” out of the open door at the open mouths of the peace protesters. He shuts the doors and drove off, making one of the very few non designated stops I've ever seen by one of these drivers make.

And then the madness... I was once one of the passengers on a bus that was abandoned in the middle of the road on a hot summer's day as the driver walked off screaming that they could 'F*** their job'. The local paper recently ran a story about a 'First bus' mounting the pavement and driving down it for a considerable distance to get around a road blockage.

I watched as one driver did his bit for euthanasia of the elderly as he jerkily accelerated when a little old lady, no where near finding some where to sit down, came spinning toward my pram and smacking her head into a pole just before she landed on my daughter. He just couldn't be bothered to hold on till she sat down safely.

She was full of apologizes and bleeding from the head, myself and other passengers helped her up. The driver looked bored. She wobbled back off the bus and weaved her way up the road. The bus took off and I shook my self out of my shocked stupor and jumped off at the next stop seriously concerned for her welfare (driver wouldn't stop unless at a designated stop) I searched but just couldn't see her, I had visions of her dieing behind a hedge somewhere, I was kicking my self that I should have got off with her, but I wanting to kick the driver even more.

Amy's job before she had her baby was a respite care worker. She had mentioned the week before that most of the drivers had been obstructive and abusive when ever she had attempted to get her clients wheelchairs on. One of the other women confirming this state of play in her experience of traveling by 'First bus' with her disabled child.

Political correctness never got on the bus in bristol to go mad. It splashed past its wheelchair in the rain, covering it in dirty water.

Funny how the trams project just disappeared into a dirge of local government wrangling, the most inept transport company got the gig to provide the bus service. It sometimes seems that the bus drivers are driven off the edge of reason because no one has the balls to sort out the chaos that is Bristol intercity traffic.

A militant pro-car lobby sabotaged any attempt at some kind of parking scheme

The car is given precedence over everything else here, city traders claimed it would effect them if restricted, perhaps they hope people will get out and buy something out of boredom because the traffic moves so slowly.

In some areas it can takes a ambulance 15 minutes to drive down a 150 meter road. No other traffic, just insane amounts of parked cars. They don't show that on casualty, Charley driving a ambulance knocking of wing mirrors at a five miles an hour, blue lights and siren going, while squeezing past nearly vertically parked cars.

No one really wants to drive buses in bristol, not for those wages, nor the conditions that see buses squeezing into the spaces the size of one car on in two-way traffic. You can see them up front, in the summer, in sweaty crawling traffic and obscenely over-parked roadsides and pavements, slowly turning mad, slowly becoming hateful of everything. The only entertainment is to pump the brakes and dream of gas chambers.

You don't have to be mad to work for 'First Bus' but it may help the process along.

Even class pervades the bus routes of Bristol. The richest area is serviced with the most accessible pram and wheelchair-friendly buses. Clifton has the showcase bus route, the buses that kneel down to welcome on board the the yummy mummy prams as they slum it for the day because the range rover's in the garage. Little information readouts telling you when the next bus is due in the bus shelters.

Then there's the poo buses, dirty, old and inaccessible. They service the proles. The mid to low income mothers in the rest of the city, who are less likely to have access to a cars can go hang, if your pram/buggy doesn't fold forget it, it's none of your stooping Clifton shiny-space buses for them, with bags of shopping, wriggling infants, trying to get back to the council estates, with a cost of a 10th of an average income support cheque blown on a return ticket, well its tough titty to you.

Woe betide you if you try to get your titties out to feed your screaming newborn infant.

Oh did I mention 'First ' just got done for over-charging and being the most expensive bus service in the UK?

So hear we get to the nub, or nip of the subject, the most surprising part of all this.

We (Bristolians) are not surprised. This quite softly spoken new mother sat in front of me was pushed just too far and decided, in her anger to go to the local paper. We are amazed that the rest of the country are scandalized by the obnoxiousness of the 'First bus' drivers, we have grown so used to.

As for breastfeeding, what can I say, you wouldn't do it if you didn't have to. Any woman who has been given the facts and has any intelligence to make a rational decision will attempt to breastfeed.

Many fail because of medical difficulty, mostly they fail because of lack of support despite all the health benefits to the infant that is usually ignored in the face of vague embarrassment.

The magic antibacterial qualities of breast milk is an uncommon fact, its description of being akin to 'White blood' in its incredible qualities as a perfect balance of fats and proteins for an infant. Exclusively breastfed babies on the whole hardly ever poo, and it doesn't usually smell that bad when they do. Formula babies honk like somethings gone waaaay bad.

It is made in breasts, those things so jealously guarded by society from the individuals they were developed for.

A million miles from the silicon-engorged sexualised status symbols, owned by men and traded on by women, is the innocent infant receiving perfect custom made clean nutrition and loving comfort.

The obsession based on a subconscious need for comfort and a yearning for the unconditional love they represent, would make any empty loveless and twisted individual react with sham scandalisation at someone getting, what they are clearly not.

And then of course there's the studies that have shown that breastfeeding can enhance the intelligence of the infant. That little head start that makes the IQ that little bit higher.

I look at Amy's baby, as Amy sits nursing her, as she is soldiers on exhausted and sore from the constant newborn feeding, and know that the beautiful little baby in her arms is in with a damn good chance of not ending up as a bus driver.

SWF test

David cammeron, appealing to the woman voter?

Link to the flash, bells and lights version of above.

David seems to be mystified as to why his campaign is yet to capture the elusive womens vote.
We’ve had the ‘honorary sister’ at the sink and the mumsneting. Vaseline on the lenses of the ‘because your worth it’ campaign posters.

For Christ sake no ones mentioned his breasts.. Please, please don’t, there are advertising strategists everywhere.
Look there’s one inside the washing machine, EEKKKKKK!!!

Nailing David Cameron 2

Wootton Bassett

Animated giff , Mrs Iris Robinson's,does she kick back with the right foot?

"Are you trying to buy me a cafe Mrs Robinson?"

Sorry, I know, its very silly.
Its a between nappy change sort of a thing.

Mrs. Robinson and Kirk McCambley

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
"God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon
Going to the candidates debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Ev'ry way you look at it, you lose

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)"

HA HA HA

More inocent days

WHAT?

WRONGGGG!!

Xmas card 1

Nailing David Cameron

As an experiment, I did this with my milk-laden mam out as reference.
Nearly there..

The 'Sorry we nearly killed you' card

Day started with putting on silly hat on baby so he could watch blokes from the harbourmaster office pump out black water tank. Toys rolling off starboard because of much shit in tank.

The pump out boys seems to be having problems again. One of the guys comes on to say that nothing is happening and the shit has gone solid, we need to get some kind of chemical toilet poo eating solution down there. Then I should order another pump out in a couple of days.

I ring Husband, and say can we take Elvis the tender to go to chandlery to get solution, faster then me praming it and more fun.

Husband turns up with friends from work and we set off. Get to chandlery, one of the friend realises he is late for work appraisal and decided to make a run for it to work as the boat is over taken by joggers on the key side speed wise. Wise man. Baby falls asleep in floating car chair.

I take over driving,and it is a uneventful drive back.

Swans strangely agitated as we near the houseboat. Friend from work is perched on end off boat; Husband doesn’t like the way I usually park by gently crashing into side of houseboat and want to try out new boat hook.Tells me not to get as close

Friend for work, makes grab for ropes as we pass, both me and husband both say, ‘No don’t do that at same time, he goes horizontal just before he falls into icy docks, I cant see him.

Oh fuck he’s gone under.

No he’s clinging on the front like 007, Husband maneuver boat to crap boarding ladder Iv whinged about for past 3 years. It’s too short and when your in the water you cant clime up it, or so Iv always reconed.
I was right..
His (husband) rope loop he made to rectified this is tied onto bucket by pump out men trying to unclog pump out. I am watching as friend clings on for dear life to wonky ladder as husband seems to be trying to untie a bucket. I push rope atached to fender over to man in water and he holds on until it rips.
I cant give him Elvis rope as it will flip small boat me and baby is on if he goes under

I ask husband in calm voice to dewonkafie the ladder and try and pull him up. Husband after gallant effort pulls him up. Tell husband to get him straght in and under warm shower. he comes back and helps me out with sleeping baby in floaty chair.

Sugary tea and a duvet round friend, he’s keep apologising and Husband brings him dry clothes.

The only socks he has left are black with pink stripes ones he bought out of a multi pack of difrent colours but refuses to wear because of pinkness. husband allso gives him his spare twat sandals that are 3 sizes big for friend. I say it’s a bit insult to injury make him look like a cunt as well as nearly killing him, they are nearly two hours late back for work.

I remember Husband has Wellingtons and he gives them to him instead. They try to slide back to work unknotist.

Husband returns later that night bearing chocolate and looking very scared, I hit him with a soup ladle when I was pregnant as I was hormonal and he nearly killed the chipy(Carpenter) when he asked him to fix the main power supply to the boat after he melted the fuse box using a giant chop saw.

Baby has worked out how to use the bouncer today.

Birth

Political breast alikeys.

It all started with the last post, I noted the breasts used had a remarkable similarity to the comedian Marty Feldman.

 So I decided if I could find breasts that were some how reminiscent of our own political leaders.

 David Cameron’s Breast alikey

 

Gordon Browns Breast alikey

 

Nick Cleggs breast alikey

Pie of the times.

From Lady TT, south coast correspondent,
TT : 'Oh dear, looks like Worthing's going downhill fast...'

We'll make cuts, Gordon Brown tells TUC

Fanny by Gaslight GADDAFI DUCK

Fanny by Gaslight VPL

Afghan Election

Random crain photos no 1

Contractions start, contractions stop. Have sex with a pineapple whilst bathing in raspberry leaf tea. Last night a man tried to commit suicide by jumping in water beside the cabin I sleep in/nursery. The lovely lads dealt him with from S7 who talked him out of it. He runs off and has politeness and decency to throw him self into docks further up stream. Swans make totally different noise when someone is in the water.

Veteran 2000AD cartoonist Ron Smith charged with sexual assault.

Hope it’s not true. Cartoonist community in the UK ‘shocked and saddened if proved to be the case’
See:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2473322/Girl-of-13-abused-by-artist.html

Sorry about below, I couldn’t help my self.

Nick Griffin BNP (Wonder if his nickname at school was Nig)

Fanny by gaslight Expenses special!

Homebirth

Zapiro

Sitting in Zapiro's back Garden, with a bottle of beer. (A wee word about political cartooning and South Africa)



School Photo - with Pieter-Dirk Uys (SA's most famous comedian, after the show). L-R: Paul from the British Council, Alix Hughes, Matt Buck, Me, Tanya Tier, Jonathan Zapiro, P-D Uys, Michelle - boyfriend of:, John Curtis, Steve Bell and Matt H.


Jacob Zuma sues cartoonist Zapiro for £700000

I sat in the back garden of Jonathan Shapiro (Zapiro) about four/five year ago with a bottle of beer watching the colours on table top mountain change in the sun set. This impressive lightshow was an accompaniment to a gathering that left my face hurting from laughing so much.It also left a feeling of being punched in the ribs that lasted for days.
The conversation was fast, humorous and very political.
I was part of an exchange project for political cartoonist set up by the British council. My self and four other young(ish) cartoonists, plus the illustrious Steve Bell from the Guardian were sent to make our impressions of the political scene in South Africa at the time.
As the light hit the mountain with purple, the conversation between the two cartoonists Steve Bell and Jonathan Zapiro turned to the darker side of being a political cartoonist. A collective hush fell among us wanabe's. This was pre 'the Mohammad cartoons' days.
Naively I assumed that if some one didn't like your cartoon the worst thing that could happen was they didn’t laugh... right?...Wrong.
Up until then it had never really crossed my mind about the possibility that there was actual danger involved in cartooning, growing up in Northern Ireland I was experienced at getting peoples backs up for minatory views such as pacifism and dressing like a Goth. I remember even being threatened from a passing car for consorting with protestants, I was not entirely inexperienced with the implications of sticking your tongue out at people who may have had guns on there laps. That was however the bravado of being a teenager.
I found my self nervously picking at the label of my beer bottle as Jonathan recounted the story of his incarceration for his pro ANC cartoons during the Apartheid era. The cartoon in question was a jolly looking A3 in a 'Where’s Wally” style of various figures in a street scene. It could of sat comfortable in a Beno comic in its cute style and inoffensiveness, (That’s if you weren’t a insane fascist racist of course)
If I remember correctly it was the small detail of the simple inclusion of the word ANC on the side of a bus in the centre of the cartoon that was the catalyst in having his life turned upside down, and being thrown in a cell.
He told us of watching for kites flown on a hill near the prison by his mates through the bars of his window; they would do this to keep his Spirits up. When he got out, he experienced surveillance and intimidation.
I remember thinking, would I be prepared to stand up and be counted for something I had drawn to the extent that this man did.?
Jonathan’s youngest kid was playing on the grass of the back yard. She was just a bit younger then my own daughter and a pang of longing to see my own child back in the UK hit me.
As a mother, part of my job was to keep out of trouble. Was the sexist old cartoonist we saw earlier that day right about women not being right to political cartoon? Was it a ‘woman on the front line’ argument rather then the ability to find the killer instinct required for this kind satire, that the old cynical cartoonist had alluded to.
Would I be prepared to face the wrath of a country’s government for the artistic equivalent of giving the finger? Those small lines on paper that can provoke laughter, and in turn shake the ground beneath your feet.
The beer bottle was almost striped clean by now and Tabletop Mountain was bathed in theatrical style under lighting. I rember watching the unfamiliar star constellations gradually coming into view, the starry cross I had never seen before.
We talked about the things that had shocked us on are tour, the history, the personal story’s of the people we meet, and the physical scars on the very landscape that could still be seen.
But it was with a positive shock that we had all come to realise that freedom of speech in South Africa was better then in the UK at that time.

What was hard fought for was sacred now or so it seemed...at the time.
This government was now answerable to a constitution that was fresh and elegant. The most beautiful of creations of political struggle to break, for a long time.
One of are BC guides was a pleasant but christen lady who didn’t approve of the rights of gay adoption, we were treated to her muttering darkly in presents of one of the people who wrote the constitution that it had all gone a bit 'too far' when it came to the 'Gays’
But that was her right to say it, that’s what it was all about.
Rational Counter argumen with a resulting democratic consensus was what the people of South Africa had enshrined in their squeaky new government, right?
As transparent a notion as the glass walls of their high court of human rights.
My self and my other trainee female political cartoonist in the group were, on return to the UK to find that the acceptance of a female political cartoonist was a something that the UK was not ready for either, unlike this hopeful new country.

I found my self-national published while in South Africa and quaked in fear and wonder at giving the finger to the president personally. As I drew the cartoon, a small sense of personal danger was overtaken by such a fierce and righteous anger at the murderous heath policy of Thabo Mibeki.
As I peered at it on the news stands in Cape Town I remember feeling elated tinged with, ‘Oh s**t what have I done..’

And now I hear there having a go at Jonathan again. I knew the wheel would turn perhaps but not as soon as this.
Jacob Zumas trial was part of the unpleasant rot that had set in during Mbeki's administration.
The corruption and jobs for the boys would put Jackie Smiths husbands Jazz flicks well in perspective.
Zumas rape trial had a bit of the OJ about it. The concept of showering after sex to stop HIV transmission professed by Zuma during the trial made for a quick intake of breath in its warped clarity. The guy was an asshole, and as dumb as the man who didn’t believe it existence in the first place, the idiot Thabo Mibeki, he now has replaced.
I feel if they continue to hound Jonathan (Zapiro) for his recent cartoons of Zuma they have already killed the dream they all worked, died and suffered for. I hope this is not true; I still have high hopes for the country. I met enough decent people over at the time to convince me that they could out weigh the idiots.

During our stay everyone in the ‘wanabie’ cartoonist group, at one time or another was overcome by an overwhelming urge to sing the song from ‘Spitting image’ called ‘Iv never met a nice south African’. We had devised a plan of ankle kicking/beating each over the head with sketch books if any one felt the Tourettes like urge to start singing it during are stay in front of any of are hosts.
Jonathan (Zapiro) and his lovely misses came and took us all for a days sight seeing before we flew back, the subject of ‘Spitting image’ came up. During apartited, bootleg copies were circulated and laughing at puppets became a very dangerous pass time.
Just as were got back to our hotel, him and his missus broke in to the most joyful spontaneous rendition of ‘Iv never met a nice South African,’

‘No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers
Who smell like baboons, sniff sniff’

We sat shocked in the back for a moment and then broke into hysterical laughter, that came in waves of relief.
Freedom of speech is not just something you do, its something you have to take as well.
Humour and democracy require self-deprecation.
That’s part of the deal.

Pecular Images on websites

My attention has been drawn by 'Anonymous' commentator to another peculiar image on found on the web. Many thanks to 'Anonymous'.

Facebook crush!

Was surprised to have this pop up on my facebook page the other day.

Pig Flu

"An Obituary printed in the London Times" chain letter

I was sent this by a well meaning relative but it it absolute full of utter crap.
First the chain letter:
"How true it is!
An Obituary printed in the London Times........ Interesting and sadly rather true.
'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.

Common Sense declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student;
but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as some churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common
Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust
his wife, Discretion his daughter, Responsibility his son, Reason
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on.
If not, join the majority and do nothing "

My reply to this utter crap and forwarded on the chain letter list:

"His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate"

Case actually originated from Carolina USA see: http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/our-criminal-obsession-1126121.html .You are probably allowed to marry your horse in this state but get flung in jail for teaching evolution.
Hear in the UK in a recent horrific case in Bristol http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/article-213743-details/article.html involving the very serous assault by a 10 year old on a younger child, the authorities did little to intervene in this case. It was the parents that had to put pressure on authorities to take action.

>"teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch" Apparently in the new York school where this happened, the individual was seen drinking it and had bragged to his class mates it was 20% proof. In America it is common for high school kids to get drunk on mouth wash so it is banned from the premises of most high schools.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990CE3D71E3DF93AA25751C0A963958260&n=Top%2FReference%2FTimes%20Topics%2FSubjects%2FC%2FCosmetics%20and%20Toiletries

>"a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student" I have tried to find this from news sources but the only time it comes up on a surch is in relation to this chain leter. If you can find the news source from a reliable and Bipartisan source I will send you a fiver.

>"Common Sense declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student" Its called anaphylactic shock and it can kill a child.
Primary school kids are rubbish at telling you about stuff like this so you have to ask the parents. Children in secondary schools are expected to look after them self's when it comes to sun lotion and aspirin (Usually from hangover drinking mouth wash)

>"but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion"

PLEASE, has anybody noticed that this country has the worst teen pregnancy rates in Europe http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4584175.stm .
Sex education in schools happens later then anywhere else in the EU. The people who are against a woman's right to chose, usually are against Sex education too.
The denial of safe access to terminations, the facts:

"...Illegal abortion in the UK

Before the 1967 Abortion Act was passed most women who wanted to end their pregnancies would have had to resort to self-induced or back street abortions.

Accurate figures for women injured by illegal abortion before 1967 are not available, as many women would not admit that their injuries resulted from abortion for fear of incriminating themselves and the illegal abortionist. In 1959, however, it was estimated by a parliamentary committee that the treatment of abortion accounted for as many as 20% of genealogical admissions withing the NHS. In 1966 the Home Office estimated that 100,000 abortions were being carried out each year. Other estimates put this figure at 150,000.

Widespread injury and infection often led to infertility and other permanent health problems, and death by septicemia (blood poisoning) or hemorrhage (bleeding) was not uncommon. In 1966 up to 40 women a year in the UK died from the complications of unsafe abortion."
http://www.efc.org.uk/Foryoungpeople/Factsaboutabortion/Unsafeabortion

How many of these were girls who couldn't talk to there parents when they were pregnant ended up dead?.

Please do not pass on this chain letter, its a load of reactionary rubbish.

Lou Mckeever

Nelson Mandela 90th Birthday this week.

Cartoon in his honor.
He is apparently still on the terrorist list in the US.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2008-04-30-watchlist_N.htm
for gods sake..

James Barlow

Can’t seem to return the comments on his blog. I do hopes he takes up my offer to meet for a coffee. I remember going to draw Andy Burnem MP, just before he ate his way out of his pod and took up government.
Is Mr Barlow brave enough to meet me?

Obnoxious local paper reporting

My local paper has run a story in veiled homophobic terms about goings on at the Bristol downs. Hear is the original front page.A former Lord mayor is complaining that the chaps quietly cottageing is a huge danger to society.
The Evening pist has picked this baton up with some very confused reporting about the safely to women at night on the downs because of this.???WTF???

>
Hear is what I sent the editor of said paper.

David Cameron

New anamation, HIPNODARLING (I think theres something wrong with me)

http://www.bluelou.net/hpnodarling.html

Northern Irish report/ Protestant version of catholtat. 29th June 08

Being a consumer of Catholtat, e.g. Virgin Mary ruler and pen sets, pope clocks, Vatican jewellery boxes,
I am delighted to have found a rare and delightful example of protestant religious Tat. It’s a picture of hedgehogs with the quote about the wages of sin on it. One can only imagine you have to sit on a hedgehog for eternity.
The Giants causeway has been invaded by German plastic bag people.

The question of Flying Monkeys

The Film 'Flash Gordon' did indeed feature flying individuals, but they were flying Brian Blessededs, an unfair comment, I feel, on a fine English actor. Shame on you.

Caroline Spelman 'Nannygate'

Jun 8, 2008

Conservative Party chairman Caroline Spelman is due to meet Westminster's ethical watchdog to discuss allegations that she misused public funds to pay a nanny.

42 Days

Margart Powell, Sweet makeing for childrean.

Great respie for coconut balls.

Northan Irish report

'Photo of real rocks at sunset on a promenade in NI'.

The lips of time bear down,
like the hairy mouth of the well-meaning kindly old women who play's piano at Balett,for flushed fat little girls and the embarrassed boy in tights,

Should have been Captin,
Captin kamikaze Guinness now.
And is so with in his rights;
the medals for real life would tip him sideways.
Sill jealous of her, middle age and still makes me look like a rugby aunt.
Made of steel cast in gold.

Know now, that Irish society now holds together with out a hint of police.
Col. Sanders see the boys in bluebottle more then most.

The North coast has motorbikes in its blood; they found the Holy Grail of posttraumatic stress syndrome need for adrenalin.
It’s the painted curb that looks so good.
Nether red, blue, green and gold,
It’s the white stripe of racing.
A flash of impact.
To selfless love, of the motorbike racer, hes so entertaining,
his passing so fast then devastating.
Its white rock brilliant against the fucken grey.

Gnarly old Irish bloke in real fisherman’s pub.” So you enjoying your Holladay?”
Me”Iv seen my first wild dolphin to day and Iv waited 38 years to see it”
“Youuurr ree aaa” He pin balls as fast as he can down the mustard crumbling airtex corridor, away from me.
Parked me space ship behind the pub..
Its been a perfict day.
Grand.

We all had to kiss her at the end of every Ballit class, that scary hairy mouth of the piano player.
A small price to pay for being a flower.

London Mayoral election special 2008.

Thursday 17 April. Question Time.Life Drawing.

The panel will include the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party Harriet Harman, the chairman of the Conservative Party Caroline Spelman, the Liberal Democrat spokesman on housing Lembit Opik, the author and columnist for The Mirror Tony Parsons and the right-wing commentator Simon Heffer.

test anamation

Hillary vs Obama, To kill a mocking bird